Binge Bones

 Black Christmas (2006) RELEASED December 25, 2006  + 3 more RUNTIME 1 h  35 m DIRECTOR Glen Morgan WRITERS Glen Morgan   (screenplay) ,  Roy Moore   (author) COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English STUDIOS Dimension Films ,  Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer ,  2929 Productions ,  Corus Entertainment ,  Movie Central ,  Hard Eight Pictures GENRES Horror ,  Thriller ,  Holiday ,  Mystery This holiday season, the slay ride begins. An escaped maniac returns to his childhood home on Christmas Eve, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one. Streaming on Hulu So I just watched the original Black Christmas for the first time a couple days ago, so it's pretty fresh in my mind. One thing that made Bob Clark's version better is that the low budget aspect of it actually contributed to the creepiness and horror. This version looks better in a lot of ways, but the polish detracts from the gritty horror ...

One Missed Call (2004) Takashi Miike directs this Japanese tech-horror in which people mysteriously start receiving voicemail messages from their future selves, foretelling their deaths.  Release date: 1/17/04 (Japan) Runtime: 1 hour 52 minutes Director: Takashi Miike Writers: Yasushi Akimoto (novel), Minako Daira (screenplay) Streaming on: YouTube, TubiTV, Cinemax I was working in a movie theater when this came out and I believe at the time I didn't know Takashi Miike yet. Unfortunately it wasn't at our theater very long, and I missed the opportunity to see it on the big screen.  0.5/1 Directing  0.4/1 Cinematography 0.5/1 Visual design 0.6/1 Editing 0.4/1 Plot  0.5/1 Writing 0.3/1 Acting 0.5/1 Soundtrack/Score/Sound 0.1/1 Originality 0.5/1 Rewatchability Total: 4.3/10 Binge Bones The verdict: Inconsistently effective, maybe only watch if you already love Takashi Miike or Japanese ghost horror.  

 Adult Swim's Yule Log (2022) aka The Fire Place Casper Kelly directs Adult Swim's first live-action movie, horror film that clips along at a nice rate and still finds time to make social commentary on things like racism, sexism, and homophobia.  Release date: 12/12/2022 Runtime: 1 hour 31 minutes Director: Casper Kelly Writer: Casper Kelly Stars: Koleman Adams, Hannah Alline, Regina Ting Chen Genres: Comedy, Horror Streaming on: HBOMax Well, I didn't expect this to be just a regular Yule log, but I definitely did not think I was about to watch a 90 minute feature! Casper Kelly's The Fire Place is a great addition to holiday horror!      0.9/1 Directing  0.6/1 Cinematography 0.4/1 Visual design 1/1 Editing 0.3/1 Plot  0.9/1 Writing 0.6/1 Acting 0.3/1 Soundtrack/Score/Sound 0.4/1 Originality 0.7/1 Rewatchability Total : 6.1/10 Binge Bones    The verdict: There are a lot of holiday horror movies to choose from, but this one is is probably ...

Gerald's Game (2020) RELEASED September 29, 2017 RUNTIME 104 mins DIRECTOR Mike Flanagan  WRITERS Stephen King (novel), Jeff Howard (screenplay), Mike Flanagan (screenplay)  STARS Carla Gugino, Bruce Greenwood, Chiara Aurelia COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Intrepid Pictures  GENRES Thriller, Drama, Horror Streaming On: Netflix The plot: A woman's husband dies during a sex game where she is handcuffed to a bed.  Random observations: The movie kind of plays like a recap of the first episode of Season 8 of a series. There is obviously too much from the book that couldn't be squeezed in, and the weird flashbacks don't necessarily cut well.  The pacing stutters but I like the dog. The quality is good for Netflix, but I'd feel ripped off if I paid movie ticket prices at a theater for this.  This is my second viewing of this film and its rewatchability doesn't hold very well. The deep subjects covered going on in the main character's tape...

  Amityville Horror (2005) RELEASED April 15, 2005 RUNTIME 90 mins  DIRECTOR Andrew Douglas  WRITERS Sandor Stern (author), George Lutz (author), Kathy Lutz (author), Scott Kosar (author), Jay Anson (author), Jonathan Gesinski (storyboard)  STARS Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Jimmy Bennett COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIOS Platinum Dunes, Dimension Films, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Radar Pictures  GENRES Horror Streaming on: Amazon Prime, AMC, Sling, fuboTV, Philo The plot: Ryan Reynolds pretends this wasn't already done a million times better in the '70s.  Random observations: The moving in montage music makes me want to set the alarm for 3:15am.  Baby Chloë Grace Moretz is cute. I think this is the first movie I saw where I finally allowed myself to realize that dads could be hot. The original Amityville Horror is one of my favorite movies. I saw it at a young and impressionable age and I was still very open about paranormal a...

  Kwaidan (1964) RELEASED December 29, 1964 RUNTIME 183 mins DIRECTOR Masaki Kobayashi  WRITERS Yoko Mizuki (screenplay), Lafcadio Hearn (novel)  STARS Rentarô Mikuni, Michiyo Aratama, Misako Watanabe COUNTRY Japan LANGUAGE Japanese  STUDIOS Bungei, Toho Company, Ltd., Ninjin Club, Toyo Kogyo Kabushiki Kaisha  GENRES Drama, Fantasy, Horror Streaming on: Criterion, HBOMax The plot: An anthology of four folk tales with supernatural themes. Random observations: There are many moments where the sets seem like living paintings. Theydies and Gentlethems, I give you Gothic Rashomon.  I love anthologies. <3 Well, I'm ashamed to say it, but this is a first watch for me. It's been on my to-see list for as long as I can remember, but somehow it kept slipping through my fingers.  This film is very much style over substance, but the style is unlike anything else. This is the ASMR of horror films.  Also, this puppy is now on the list of one of the best ...

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) RELEASED October 31, 1962 RUNTIME 135 mins DIRECTOR Robert Aldrich  WRITERS Lukas Heller (screenplay), Robert Altman (dialogue), Henry Farrell (novel)  STARS Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Victor Buono COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Associates & Aldrich Company, The  GENRES Drama, Thriller, Horror Streaming on: Hoolpa, Criterion The plot: Two aging actresses live as recluses in an old Hollywood mansion. Basically what starts as Gypsy ends as Grey Gardens. Random observations: I want their mansion. I've heard people complain about the score being too melodramatic, but I found it unimposing. Apparently, Joan Crawford insisted on having Blanche's hair and nails perfect as well as her costumes pressed. Bette Davis argued that someone who had been a recluse for 20 years wouldn't have any of these traits and that Crawford had "made a mistake".  It's been a pretty minute since I had watched this film, but I ...

It's Horror Week! I missed posting last night because I was busy with a fibromyalgia flare, but that'll happen sometimes. I'm adjusting this week's schedule to 4 movies per day. Chronic pain will sadly dictate the amount of time I can dedicate to brainpower.  If you'd like to recommend an upcoming theme or a movie to review within an upcoming theme, please comment below! 11-Oct The Last Man on Earth (1964) Hoopla Black Sabbath (1963) Kanopy Theater of Blood (1973) Roku Inferno (1980) Vudu 12-Oct Sante Sangre (1989) Kanopy Blood and Black Lace (1964) Amazon The Host (2006) Hoopla The Unknown (1927) Criterion 13-Oct Sleepy Hollow (1999) Netflix Angel Heart (1987) HBO Dead of Night (1945) Kanopy Train to Busan (2016) TubiTV 14-Oct Audition (1999) Shudder Scanners (1981) Kanopy The Changeling (1980) Shudder Zombi 2 (1979) Shudder 15-Oct Kwaidan (1964) Criterion Vampyr (1932) Criterion Jacob's Ladder (1990) Cinemax The...

  Teen Wolf Too (1987) RELEASED November 20, 1987 RUNTIME 95 mins DIRECTOR Christopher Leitch  WRITERS Jeph Loeb (characters), Matthew Weisman (characters), Tim Kring (screenplay)  STARS Jason Bateman, Kim Darby, John Astin COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Atlantic Entertainment Group  GENRES Comedy, Fantasy, Family Streaming on: Hoopla The plot: Jason Bateman plays Todd, cousin of Michael J. Fox's character from the first film. First world problems plague Todd at his new college, but then things get wolfy, and his popularity starts to rise. BUT AT WHAT COST? Random observations: Voted #85 of IMDb's Bottom Rated Movies Jason Bateman's film debut and he's lucky it wasn't his finale. Michael J. Fox turned down the chance to reprise his role mostly because he didn't want to go through the hours of makeup application Well, those were more like random facts today as opposed to random observations, but whatever. Jason Bateman is super charming, but ...

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004) RELEASED July 10, 2004 RUNTIME 94 mins  DIRECTOR Grant Harvey  WRITERS Stephen Massicotte (screenplay), Christina Ray (screenplay)  STARS Katharine Isabelle, Emily Perkins, Nathaniel Arcand COUNTRY Canada LANGUAGE English  STUDIOS 49 Film, Lions Gate Films  GENRES Drama, Horror Streaming on: TubiTV, Tribeca Shortlist, Amazon Prime The plot: Ginger and Brigette are back in what feels like either REALLY GOOD fan fiction or REALLY BAD prequel-ing. Set in 19th Century Canada for no particular reason, sisters again are doin' it for themselves after Ginger gets bitten by a werewolf (AGAIN!). Random observations: This was shot back-to-back with Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004) and it feels like Gs2 got slightly more attention. I wish Emily Perkins and Katherine Isabelle would do a Ginger Snaps TV series. It's time! The sound levels are super weird.  Disjointed in plot and dialogue, Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning is a ...

Deadtime Stories (1986) RELEASED November 28, 1986 RUNTIME 93 mins DIRECTOR Jeffrey Delman  WRITERS Jeffrey Delman, J. Edward Kiernan, Charles F. Shelton  STARS Scott Valentine, Nicole Picard, Matt Mitler COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIOS Overseas FilmGroup, Scary Stuff  GENRES Horror, Comedy Streaming on: TubiTV, Hoopla, Shout TV, FlixFling, Amazon The plot: An uncle who has no business being around children at all is left to babysit his nephew. He regales him with 3 different bedtime fairy tales most likely scarring the poor kid for life. I hope he didn't get paid.  Random observations:  Deadtime Stories still has a Facebook page, although they haven't posted since 2019 when a special edition vinyl of the soundtrack was released.  All the special effects in this movie were done in-camera. This film is like what happens if you order The Princess Bride on Wish. A half-assed anthology using bastardized fairy tales. The soundtrack is t...

Cry of the Werewolf (1944) RELEASED August 17, 1944 RUNTIME 63 mins  DIRECTOR Henry Levin  WRITERS Charles O'Neal (screenplay), Griffin Jay (screenplay)  STARS Nina Foch, Stephen Crane, Osa Massen COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Columbia Pictures GENRES Horror Streaming on: YouTube The plot: A young Romani woman turns into a wolf because that's the coolest fucking way to destroy your enemies. Random observations:  There aren't enough female werewolf movies Come on, Hollywood! (Or Pittsburgh!) The ones that we have are great, but they don't come out often enough. #gimmemoregingersnaps This film marks the first appearance of a female as a werewolf in a talkie! WTG, Nina Foch! (You might remember her from An American in Paris.) The setting is in New Orleans, Louisiana but is very recognizable as a Hollywood backlot.  Twice-married-to Lana Turner leading man Stephen Crane is really the only actual terrible thing about this movie. It often fe...

  The Mad Monster (1942) RELEASED May 15, 1942 RUNTIME 77 mins  DIRECTOR Sam Newfield  WRITER Fred Myton (screenplay)  STARS Johnny Downs, George Zucco, Anne Nagel  COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Sigmund Neufeld Productions GENRES Horror Streaming on: Amazon Prime, Epix, FlixFling, TubiTV, Sling TV, DIRECTV The plot: A simple-minded handyman (who can only be described as "the obvious inspiration for Torgo") gets turned into a revenge exacting werewolf by a mad scientist. Random observations: After watching 1921's Destiny directed by Fritz Lang this morning, it's quite noticeable that the film quality of this movie has degraded greatly since the '40s and could do with a facelift. However, part of the charm of the early 40's b-movies of this budget lies in the imperfections themselves.  If you watch this film on Amazon, please note that there are no closed captions available. The soundscape of this film is akin to an arctic wolf sanc...

  Shark Zone (2003) aka Jurassic Shark RELEASED October 14, 2003 RUNTIME 91 mins  DIRECTOR Danny Lerner  WRITERS Danny Lerner, Sam Parish  STARS Dean Cochran, Alan Austin, Brandi Sherwood COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Nu Image  GENRES Action, Adventure, Drama, Horror, Thriller Streaming on: Amazon Prime, Sling TV, imdbTV The plot: A man must protect his small coastal town from a large shark but without the benefit of Richard Dreyfuss or Robert Shaw. Random observations: This is the 3rd sequel to the film Shark Attack. I know they don't really growl, but I love it when sharks growl in shark movies. These sharks growl. Hey! Reused surfer attack footage from Shark Attack 2. And you thought we wouldn't notice, you crazy motherfuckers. Remember when those kids did a shot-for-shot remake of Indiana Jones in their back yard? This is sort of like that only with Jaws. But instead of having obsessive fans write the script, it feels like it was writte...

  Swamp Shark (2011) RELEASED June 25, 2011 RUNTIME 85 mins  DIRECTOR Griff Furst  WRITERS Eric Miller (screenplay), Charles Bolon, Jennifer Iwen (screenplay)  STARS Christopher Berry, Wade Boggs, Marcus Lyle Brown COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Bullet Films GENRES Horror, Thriller Streaming on: TubiTV T he plot: An animal smuggling deal goes wrong resulting in a huge shark accidentally being let loose in a swamp. Random observations: Movie: "You're gonna need a bigger Band-Aid". Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha *laughcries* Why is this movie so green? Sharkapitation! Swamp Shark provides us with mindless b.s. human relationships as we wait for them all to meet unseemly demises. Peppered with obnoxious swamp rock, we are thrust directly into the world of animal smuggling as represented by the rejected auditioners of Real World: Nameless Bayou Town. 0.1/1 Directing 0.3/1 Cinematography 0.2/1 Visual design 0.3/1 Editing 0.1/1 Plot  0/1 Dialogue 0.3/1 ...