Binge Bones

  Blue Demon (2004) RELEASED October 15, 2004 RUNTIME 90 mins DIRECTOR Daniel Grodnik  WRITERS Brett Thompson, Lisa Morton STARS Dedee Pfeiffer, Randall Batinkoff, Danny Woodburn  LANGUAGE English  GENRES Action, Horror, Thriller Streaming on: TubiTV, Vudu, Amazon Prime The plot: Project Blue Demon is the name of a group of scientists' plans to train great white sharks to protect the coastline from intruders. Random observations: The score sounds like a Casio keyboard from 1984 was stuck on "demo mode" whilst a cat rolled around on it.  It's kind of refreshing after a day full of shark movies to see more than one shark at a time, even though the budget wasn't quite meant for it. There are a lot of unnecessary lighting choices in this film. Another overscored mess. So much of this movie takes place inside buildings with no water in sight. It's these scenes in particular which are most painful because this means the movie is either going to try to be 1) funny an...

 Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010) RELEASED December 21, 2010 RUNTIME 90 mins DIRECTOR Christopher Ray WRITER Micho Rutare  STARS Gary Stretch, Jaleel White, Sarah Lieving  COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English STUDIO The Asylum  GENRES Action, Horror, Science Fiction Streaming on: TubiTV, Vudu, PlutoTV, Hoopla The plot: Crocosaurus (who is a warm-water beast) and Megashark (a cold-water beast) destroy a ton of government property and our only hope is Urkel.  Random observations: Looks like someone was nice enough to donate their laser tag room prior to business hours so these filmmakers could have a set. Watch for extras literally wiggling their fingers over keyboards in an effort to convey typing. Why would you shoot at the FIN? Like most Asylum Films, I couldn't tell you if this is my first watch or my tenth watch because they tend to blend together in tone and theme. There's nothing new here and the CGI often looks like the effects department didn't get the...