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Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)

 Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)

RELEASED December 21, 2010 RUNTIME 90 mins DIRECTOR Christopher Ray WRITER Micho Rutare 
STARS Gary Stretch, Jaleel White, Sarah Lieving 
COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English
STUDIO The Asylum 
GENRES Action, Horror, Science Fiction
Streaming on: TubiTV, Vudu, PlutoTV, Hoopla


The plot: Crocosaurus (who is a warm-water beast) and Megashark (a cold-water beast) destroy a ton of government property and our only hope is Urkel. 

Random observations:
  • Looks like someone was nice enough to donate their laser tag room prior to business hours so these filmmakers could have a set.
  • Watch for extras literally wiggling their fingers over keyboards in an effort to convey typing.
  • Why would you shoot at the FIN?

Like most Asylum Films, I couldn't tell you if this is my first watch or my tenth watch because they tend to blend together in tone and theme. There's nothing new here and the CGI often looks like the effects department didn't get the budget to finish rendering.

The movie is intrusively overscored, thrusting upon its viewers an irrational musical headache. But then again, subtlety is not the goal here. There are no shadows lurking or scales emerging. It's just full-on monsters in your fucking face.

I thought I was having a stroke at first, but the movie is actually just reusing their own footage because they don't have enough animated sequences to have each one be different. This all seems like poor planning.



0/1 Directing
0.2/1 Cinematography
0.3/1 Visual design
0.1/1 Editing
0/1 Plot 
0.3/1 Dialogue
0.2/1 Acting
0.3/1 Soundtrack/Score/Sound
0.1/1 Originality
0.2/1 Rewatchability
Total: 1.7/10 Binge Bones


Verdict: There's not really a reality I can think of where I could call this "required" viewing in any sense of the word unless for some reason you are watching the Asylum catalog or accidentally put PCP on your cereal this morning.


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