Shark Night 3D (2011)

RELEASED September 2, 2011 RUNTIME 91 mins DIRECTOR David R. Ellis

WRITERS Will Hayes (screenplay), Jesse Studenberg (screenplay)

STARS Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack

COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English

STUDIO Incentive Filmed Entertainment

GENRES Horror, Thriller

Streaming on: Netflix

The plot: Freshwater sharks terrorize a group of vacationing assholes.

Random observations:

Oh my God, do NOT swim right after you get a tattoo.
This film was nominated for a Fangoria Chainsaw Award in 2012 for "Worst Film" (it tied for second place with 2011's Fright Night).
If you can make it through until the end of the credits you can watch the cast in the music video for "Sharks Bite".

In one way, there are no bad shark movies. The fact that a camera person would work in water all day for weeks on end is impressive to me. One time I was in a short film and it rained for like 2 hours and I wanted to die. I can't even imagine just being constantly soggy during a production shoot.

In another way, it kind of sucks when all of that hard work just dissolves into the ocean because some basement weasel fancies themselves a writer. (Don't look at me like that. I don't live in a basement and if anything I'm a narwhal -- kinda blubbery but at least I have a point.)

Stuntman-turned-director David R. Ellis passed away in 2013. This film was his final directorial effort. Coincidence? Yes.

0/1 Directing

0.3/1 Cinematography

0.4/1 Visual design

0.6/1 Editing

0.2/1 Plot

0/1 Dialogue

0.1/1 Acting

0.4/1 Soundtrack/Score/Sound

0/1 Originality

0.1/1 Rewatchability

Total: 2.1/10 Binge Bones

Verdict: You won't need a bigger boat.

Comments

Black Christmas (2006)

Black Christmas (2006) RELEASED December 25, 2006 + 3 more RUNTIME 1 h 35 m DIRECTOR Glen Morgan WRITERS Glen Morgan (screenplay) , Roy Moore (author) COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English STUDIOS Dimension Films , Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer , 2929 Productions , Corus Entertainment , Movie Central , Hard Eight Pictures GENRES Horror , Thriller , Holiday , Mystery This holiday season, the slay ride begins. An escaped maniac returns to his childhood home on Christmas Eve, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one. Streaming on Hulu So I just watched the original Black Christmas for the first time a couple days ago, so it's pretty fresh in my mind. One thing that made Bob Clark's version better is that the low budget aspect of it actually contributed to the creepiness and horror. This version looks better in a lot of ways, but the polish detracts from the gritty horror that helped the 1974 version succeed better at the goal it se

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (2018)

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (2018) RELEASED December 14, 2018 DVD March 19, 2019 RUNTIME 117 mins DIRECTORS Rodney Rothman, Peter Ramsey, Bob Persichetti WRITERS Stan Lee (characters), Sharon Bridgeman (story artist), Rodney Rothman (screenplay), Phil Lord (screenplay), Steve Ditko (characters), Jane Wu (story artist), John Puglisi (story artist), Heiko Drengenberg (story artist), Denise Koyama (story artist), Mark Ackland (story artist), Miguel Jiron (story artist), Yoriaki Mochizuki (story artist), Riccardo Durante (story artist), Ryan Savas (story artist), Eva Bruschi (story artist), Cody Cameron (story artist), Vi-Dieu Nguyen (story artist), Jihyun Park (story artist), Miles Thompson (story artist) COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English STARS Shameik Moore, Jake Johnson, Hailee Steinfeld STUDIOS Columbia Pictures, Sony Pictures Animation, Marvel Entertainment, Arad Productions, Lord Miller, Pascal Pictures, Sony Pictures GENRES Action, Adventure, Animation, Science Fiction

Cry of the Werewolf (1944)

Cry of the Werewolf (1944) RELEASED August 17, 1944 RUNTIME 63 mins DIRECTOR Henry Levin WRITERS Charles O'Neal (screenplay), Griffin Jay (screenplay) STARS Nina Foch, Stephen Crane, Osa Massen COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English STUDIO Columbia Pictures GENRES Horror Streaming on: YouTube The plot: A young Romani woman turns into a wolf because that's the coolest fucking way to destroy your enemies. Random observations: There aren't enough female werewolf movies Come on, Hollywood! (Or Pittsburgh!) The ones that we have are great, but they don't come out often enough. #gimmemoregingersnaps This film marks the first appearance of a female as a werewolf in a talkie! WTG, Nina Foch! (You might remember her from An American in Paris.) The setting is in New Orleans, Louisiana but is very recognizable as a Hollywood backlot. Twice-married-to Lana Turner leading man Stephen Crane is really the only actual terrible thing about this movie. It often feels like he's

Binge Bones

Search This Blog