Skip to main content

Shark Night 3D (2011)

 Shark Night 3D (2011)

RELEASED September 2, 2011 RUNTIME 91 mins DIRECTOR David R. Ellis 

WRITERS Will Hayes (screenplay), Jesse Studenberg (screenplay) 

STARS Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack

COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English 

STUDIO Incentive Filmed Entertainment 

GENRES Horror, Thriller

Streaming on: Netflix



The plot: Freshwater sharks terrorize a group of vacationing assholes.


Random observations:

  • Oh my God, do NOT swim right after you get a tattoo.
  • This film was nominated for a Fangoria Chainsaw Award in 2012 for "Worst Film" (it tied for second place with 2011's Fright Night).
  • If you can make it through until the end of the credits you can watch the cast in the music video for "Sharks Bite".
In one way, there are no bad shark movies. The fact that a camera person would work in water all day for weeks on end is impressive to me. One time I was in a short film and it rained for like 2 hours and I wanted to die. I can't even imagine just being constantly soggy during a production shoot.

In another way, it kind of sucks when all of that hard work just dissolves into the ocean because some basement weasel fancies themselves a writer. (Don't look at me like that. I don't live in a basement and if anything I'm a narwhal -- kinda blubbery but at least I have a point.)

Stuntman-turned-director David R. Ellis passed away in 2013. This film was his final directorial effort. Coincidence? Yes.


0/1 Directing
0.3/1 Cinematography
0.4/1 Visual design
0.6/1 Editing
0.2/1 Plot 
0/1 Dialogue
0.1/1 Acting
0.4/1 Soundtrack/Score/Sound
0/1 Originality
0.1/1 Rewatchability

Total: 2.1/10 Binge Bones


Verdict: You won't need a bigger boat.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Black Christmas (2006)

 Black Christmas (2006) RELEASED December 25, 2006  + 3 more RUNTIME 1 h  35 m DIRECTOR Glen Morgan WRITERS Glen Morgan   (screenplay) ,  Roy Moore   (author) COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English STUDIOS Dimension Films ,  Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer ,  2929 Productions ,  Corus Entertainment ,  Movie Central ,  Hard Eight Pictures GENRES Horror ,  Thriller ,  Holiday ,  Mystery This holiday season, the slay ride begins. An escaped maniac returns to his childhood home on Christmas Eve, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one. Streaming on Hulu So I just watched the original Black Christmas for the first time a couple days ago, so it's pretty fresh in my mind. One thing that made Bob Clark's version better is that the low budget aspect of it actually contributed to the creepiness and horror. This version looks better in a lot of ways, but the polish detracts from the gritty horror ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Recruit (2022-)

 The Recruit (2022-) AIRS Friday s at  3:00 AM  on  Netflix PREMIERED December 16, 2022 RUNTIME 55 m TOTAL RUNTIME 7 h  20 m   (8 episodes) CREATOR Alexi Hawley COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English STUDIOS Hypnotic ,  Entertainment One ,  P3 Media GENRES Drama ,  Crime A fledgling lawyer at the CIA that becomes enmeshed in dangerous international power politics when a former asset threatens to expose the nature of her long-term relationship with the agency unless they exonerate her of a serious crime. Streaming on Netflix I have only watched the first episode so far, so I obviously can't speak for the whole season. The truth is I want this to be Mindhunter. :( Oh well. I appreciate the sarcasm in the writing, but I'm not sure what this show is trying to do. Is this a Jack Ryan thing? I like cheese. Mmm... cheese. I'm totally getting some cheese after I post this. 0.2/1 Directing  0.5/1 Cinematography 0.6/1 Visual design 0.1/1 Editing 0...
Post a Comment
Read more

Swamp Shark (2011)

  Swamp Shark (2011) RELEASED June 25, 2011 RUNTIME 85 mins  DIRECTOR Griff Furst  WRITERS Eric Miller (screenplay), Charles Bolon, Jennifer Iwen (screenplay)  STARS Christopher Berry, Wade Boggs, Marcus Lyle Brown COUNTRY United States LANGUAGE English  STUDIO Bullet Films GENRES Horror, Thriller Streaming on: TubiTV T he plot: An animal smuggling deal goes wrong resulting in a huge shark accidentally being let loose in a swamp. Random observations: Movie: "You're gonna need a bigger Band-Aid". Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha *laughcries* Why is this movie so green? Sharkapitation! Swamp Shark provides us with mindless b.s. human relationships as we wait for them all to meet unseemly demises. Peppered with obnoxious swamp rock, we are thrust directly into the world of animal smuggling as represented by the rejected auditioners of Real World: Nameless Bayou Town. 0.1/1 Directing 0.3/1 Cinematography 0.2/1 Visual design 0.3/1 Editing 0.1/1 Plot  0/1 Dialogue 0.3/1 ...
Post a Comment
Read more